A father’s wedding speech is one of the most important speeches at a wedding ceremony.

Yet, oddly, father of the bride wedding speeches are one of the most little understood aspects of the entire big day.

As a father, I did everything I possibly could to ensure that my daughter Jenny’s Wedding Day was perfect.

I took particular delight in helping with the wedding catering arrangements and where the guests would be seated both in the church and at the reception. As well as organizing the bridal cars and function rooms and even helping to select the bridal flower arrangement. But one thing I completely overlooked was my own father of the bride wedding speech.

I didn’t really give it two thoughts among all the other rushing around. Yet when a friend of mine casually asked me what I was going to talk about when I gave the traditional father of the bride toast, I was a bit stumped. I hadn’t really thought about it.

Well, to be more accurate, I hadn’t really thought about how important the father of the bride speech was to the whole ebb and flow of the wedding. The more I looked into it, the more I realized that my father’s wedding speech would really set the whole tone of the wedding. If my speech was upbeat and funny, everyone would be relaxed.

And this would make all the other speeches like the father of the groom wedding speech, the groom’s wedding speech, the lovely bride’s wedding speech and the best man’s speech would be so much more enjoyable too.

As I investigated further into what I should or should not say and who I should or should not discuss, it soon became very clear to me that there was a real Father Of The Bride Speech Etiquette that had to be followed.

I had quite a bit of trouble finding out everything about that etiquette so I took the liberty of writing everything down. So here are some tips about what every father should keep an eye on before he gets up in front of dozens, possibly hundreds, of wedding guests to deliver a speech that should never leave his daughter squirming with embarrassment but beaming with delight.

• Expressing Your Love For Your Daughter

The greatest joy that I experienced on my daughter Jenny’s wedding day, was being able to publicly express my love for her. As a father writing a wedding speech about my only daughter, I kept thinking back to when Jenny was just a little girl.

She loved riding around our ranch and I remember the delight on her face when I gave her a pony on her 10th birthday. It was an extraordinary moment for me when I related this tale to the guests at the wedding and also how privileged I felt when she began to mature into a teenager and then a beautiful young woman with a gift for connecting with both people and animals.

It was these special qualities that drew people to her throughout her whole life, so it was fantastic that I could share this with all the guests at her wedding. I realized then that what makes a father of the bride wedding speech particularly memorable and poignant is the ability to draw on aspects of his daughter’s life that only he has ever experienced.

These are the moments that every father remembers for his entire life. And they are the moments that touch everyone’s heart when they are woven into the fabric of your father wedding speech.

• Welcoming A New Son

I remember when I was a young fellow and how terrified it was to knock on the door of a girl I had finally got up the nerve to ask out on a date. Like everyone else, I was hoping that her father wouldn’t answer the door. But, invariably, he always did.

And he’d look me up and down and then look right through me as if challenging him to even dare to ask if his daughter was home.

So one of the things I took particular care about in my father of the bride wedding speech, was to make sure my new son-in-law felt a warm welcome coming into our family. Of course, it helped that in my case my new son-in-law Scotty was almost like one of my own sons already.

He’d practically grown up on our ranch and worked with my own two boys running the herds for over 15 years, especially during school vacation time. But the fact is, he wasn’t my son. He was the son of a very fine family and I made sure that I spoke about them too in my father’s wedding speech.

My advice: even if you don’t know your future son-in-law as well as I knew Scotty and his family, good old fashioned manners can never go wrong. You need to give him a warm welcome into your family. Tell everyone the qualities you admire in him (even if they’ve all been volunteered by your own daughter) and make sure his relatives feel at home too.

If you’ve raised your daughter the right way, then there’s a darn good chance she’s got enough common sense to have made the right choice in a husband. As the father of the bride, it’s your duty to acknowledge that choice and always remember. You’re not losing a daughter, you’re gaining a son.

OK, I can hear ya. What if you don’t like the son-of-a-bitch? Simple, corner him after the reception and tell him if he ever, EVER breaks your little girl’s heart you’ll break him in half. Then welcome him like a son.

• Bringing Two Families Together

A wedding truly is a wonderful occasion. Not only is it about coming together and celebrating the love of two people you love dearly. But it’s a celebration of the coming together of two families. So, in effect, it’s a double celebration

Now you’re probably thinking that I’ve spent too much time sitting in the saddle pondering life’s mysteries. But I really believe it. A wedding is a time of rejoicing and remembering. Rejoicing about extending your family. And remembering those in the family who were unable to make it. Be sure to remember to put that in your father’s wedding speech.

• Thanking A Few People

Pulling together a wedding takes a lot of energy. And people. So the father-of-the-bride speech is the perfect opportunity to thank everyone who played a part in helping it to run like clockwork.

Don’t forget to give a mention to those people in your father of the bride wedding speach and pay particular attention to the new in-laws, the groom, the best man, the bridesmaids, the priest, the woman who plays the organ and the helpful lady who directed everyone to their proper seats in the church.

You might be making more thankyous than an Oscar acceptance speech but I can guarantee you this: forget a single name and someone’s going to corner you in reception. That’s why one of my best bits of advice when making your father wedding speech, is to be prepared. Write a checklist down and even if you have them in bullet points they are going to be a big prompter on the big day.

• Keep It Short And Sweet

There are a couple of ‘No Nos’ you have got to remember when planning your father of the bride wedding speech. The biggest No No of all is don’t get drunk. Don’t even think about having that triple whisky you’ve got tucked away in your hip flask.

A father flailing for words is a thousands times better than a father failing to keep his judgment and balance in check. You never want to embarrass yourself or, more importantly, your daughter, when you’re giving your wedding speech no matter how nervous you are.